Perhaps you’ve noticed some recent posts I’ve made on my facebook page. If not, go on over there and check it out for a sec. You see, during the entire month of February, I’m posing the inquiry: What do you love about yourself? I was originally inspired to do this when I came upon a friend’s post (you may not be able to access this if you’re not facebook friends with my friend, Julie Gieseke, so I’ll at least mention her name here) declaring February the month of love and a fine time to practice being the one you love the most. Now, being a big fan and proponent of self-care, this felt like a practice worth exploring, so I bit. …and not only have I been making the inquiry to my fans on my facebook page, I’ve been testing my own mettle and making self-love declarations on my personal facebook profile each day as well. Woof. For those who know me, you know this hasn’t been easy for me. I’m not one to toot my own horn much, if at all, and making glowingly loving statements about myself out loud has been, er, interesting, to say the least.

There are some particularly powerful insights that I’ve gained through this practice that I’d like to share with you here, most of them are pretty scary for me to admit.

• people like hearing me speak lovingly about myself.
• it’s encouraging for others to see me speaking lovingly about myself, yet it’s still a bit too scary for most to declare something they love about themselves on my facebook page. (I like to imagine that they’re at least thinking about what they love about themselves and maybe using that to turn around some self-deprecating thoughts before they become statements.)
• I know it’s encouraging because they’ve told me off-line.
• this has deepened the conversation and, perhaps, our relationship in that we now understand each other just a little bit better.
• I can think of TONS of things I love about my friends and loved ones and, in comparison, most days it’s painfully difficult for me to come up with just one thing that I love about myself, especially knowing that I’m about to declare it out loud!
• people love things about themselves that I love about them, too.
• people love things about themselves that I also love about myself. (I wonder if this is part of what attracts us to one another?)
• it’s hard to feel crabby for too long on those days when I wake up with a grump on after declaring what I love about myself.
• it’s also hardest to find something that I love about myself on those days when I wake up grumpy.

Okay, enough about me. What’s this bringing up in you? Have you been following along with me on facebook in this challenging practice? What insights have come up for you? Have you taken this activity out into your world and, if so, how? Or, maybe you’re just encountering this here for the first time. What does this evoke in you? I’d love to hear from you, so please leave a reply here or join in the fun over on my facebook page.

I’d like to dive into technostress, as a concept, a bit more deeply now by taking a look at the idea of interpersonal inequities and see how they can and often do lead to technostress.

Interpersonal inequities are demographic in nature, in other words and in this case, they can be categorized as human characterizations that one might use to compare oneself to others in a population. A person’s age, financial wherewithal, location, tastes and preferences, physical ability and experience are several characterizations that we can look at to get a better picture of how interpersonal inequities can cause technostress.

In an effort to create an experience for you to develop your awareness around how interpersonal inequities create or lead to technostress, less in a cognitive way and more by way of feeling into it, I’m going to humbly ask you to consider your own use of technology as it compares to mine as you read the following honest account of my own use and level of acceptance of technological innovation.

I tend to be a bit of a luddite. I value nature and direct human connection and I believe it’s important to use computer technology moderately. I meditate. I do yoga. I grow some of my own food. I limit my time on the computer and using other technological innovations, including t.v. I’m highly sensitive and know that too much input in any form is overstimulating and can overwhelm me. I don’t use a smart phone. I live in a rural location where cell signal is poor and I work from home. In fact, I keep my cell phone in my car and typically only use it to keep in touch when I’m on the road or traveling. I don’t text, generally–it’s difficult for me to read the screen. I do enjoy on-line learning and on-line communities such as social media and discussion forums. I LOVE to google. I blog. I designed and maintain my own website. I’ve been using computers since the early 80′s and have kept up pretty well as a user. I even have a background in high-tech and have a pretty good idea what makes these things (technological innovations) tick. I can type pretty quickly and prefer to work in uninterrupted periods of quiet. No music while I’m working, thanks. Oh, and I can’t seem to tolerate headphones (there’s that high sensitivity again!), so need privacy and quiet to attend teleclasses or to sit in on a conference call, and to do most of my work, in fact. I don’t have a large operating budget and my idealism dictates a strong preference for making economically and environmentally sustainable choices, so I choose to own only a few tech devices and I don’t replace or get additional items often. I’m definitely not one who runs out and gets the latest gadgets. As far as my current inventory of tech devices is concerned, I have a desktop computer and a laptop (both Macs), a printer, a modem, and a wi-fi router. Oh, and the aforementioned cell phone that’s out in my car.

That, in a nutshell, is me. Now, be honest. Were there times as you read along that you noticed a contrast (or even a similarity) between my use and level of acceptance of technology and yours? I hope so, we’re all quite different even when we have much in common.

The point here is to increase your awareness of how you perceive yourself and others in relation to one another with respect to use of technology. If you notice that you’re prone to get angry or stressed about how you use technology comparatively with others (or how others use it compared to you), technostress is at play.

The first step to relieving technostress is building awareness. And if you’ve played along in this game of comparisons, you’re already on your way to finding some relief.

So I ask you: What’s all this bringing up for you? Please share by leaving a comment.

Next up: Technostress and the Inequity of Choice.

Dictionary.com defines technostress as “a feeling of anxiety or mental pressure from overexposure or involvement with (computer) technology.” It’s a term that came into use during the 80′s when computer technology was developing at a tremendous rate. In fact, it was recognized that this rate would continue to increase for quite some time (see Moore’s Law). Today, thought leader Ray Kurzweil suggests that “the rate of innovation of computer technology is increasing not linearly [as was originally theorized in Moore's Law] but rather exponentially.” According to Kurzweil’s argument, “since growth in so many fields of science and technology depends upon computing power, these improvements translate into exponentially more frequent advances in non-computer sciences like nanotechnology, biotechnology, and materials science.” (learn more here). In simple terms, we are each encountering more new technology (whether we embrace it or not) now more than ever before in our lives. It seems no wonder that any of us might be prone to suffer from technostress.

From my perspective, I can see that people (myself included) tend to be pretty hard on themselves when it comes to how they interrelate with technology. I’m observing that the technostress stems from a focus on the inequity at hand. There are probably many inequities at work here. I’ll put these inequities into three categories to help us to look at them more closely.

One type of inequity is interpersonal. It’s the way we compare and contrast our own preferred use of technology with that of others.

Another manifests itself in the technology we choose (or choose not) to use. Let’s call this the inequity of choice.

Finally, there is an inequity within oneself, or internal inequity. This one runs the gamut of personal awareness touch-points from what we expect of ourselves and hold ourselves accountable to (our ideals) and what we’re actually capable of at any given moment in time with the resources we have at our disposal, to the way we see and perceive ourselves in the world and the way we learn and take in information.

Personally, I can already see that these three types of inequity that lead to technostress are not inextricable. Yet, taken together, as it naturally happens, these inequities add up to a powerful stress-inducing outcome.

It seems clear that technostress is pretty much unavoidable. But maybe, just maybe, we can learn to adapt to the growing rate of technology in such a way that we can thrive in its presence. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I’d love to hear from you on this topic. Are you suffering from technostress? How has it shown up in your life recently?

Stay tuned for more. I’ll be addressing each of the inequities I’ve mentioned and will be offering up some strategies for transcending the difficulties that technostress presents.

Now, I don’t know about you, but for me big questions like this can shut me down rather than inspire me. …and just as I was noticing that I was starting to shut down in the face of these questions, I saw my rebellious self step in. “Wait! Why do I have to do things the way EVERYBODY else is doing them? Why do I have to answer these questions? It’s no wonder I’m getting shut down. I don’t really think in terms of ‘the year in review!’” Then my curious self responded, “Oh, but I so want to play this game of reflection. Not so much because EVERYBODY’s doing it, but because I want to see for myself what the fuss is all about!”

…and then I noticed my rebellious self start to get a bit judgmental, her fists on her hips. My curious self shared more. “Look at the different ways people are posing this concept,” she pointed out. “Some are posing big questions, as you’ve mentioned, yet others are sharing their own “year in review” process. They’re finding their own way of playing along with this game! Some don’t even speak in terms of “best of” or “biggest,” but have many and varied experiences that they’re recalling. Some of those experiences were difficult, even. It seems that for some people, the small or brief or vague were quite notable, too. My self-caring self, stepped in to join Curiosity. “Oh, how lovely! They’re acknowledging themselves for not just what they’ve done or accomplished, but for how they’ve shown up!”

Curiosity said, “I wonder what we might come up with if we reflect for a while on the past year?” The Rebel cautioned: “Won’t you just be succumbing to the masses? I think it’s important that we look at how we show up more often than once a year at this time!” …and Self-Care said, “I know! Let’s look in the places we already keep records of what we’ve done, experiences we’ve had, people we’ve encountered, things we’ve set out to do, intentions we’ve set for being.” Curiosity and The Rebel each took on the sheen of Self-Care as they considered that this might just work. All three sat down together at the desk and began to explore.

What comes up for you when you hear all the hype of “the year in review”? Does it encourage you, shut you down or something altogether different? If you’ve felt somehow on the outside or that year-end sort of review just doesn’t fit you, what other perspectives might you try on? I’d love to hear from you! Your comments and questions are most welcome.

This got me thinking, “Am I planning for 2012? Is planning even my thing?”

…and so, I’ve been sitting with these questions and here is what came to me…

I am enjoying the winding down of the season, the shortening of the days, and the lengthening of the nights. I have been turning inward, sleeping more, reading more, spending more time alone (is that even possible??) and feeding my body what it craves. Interestingly, the days and nights have been gorgeously clear and crisp, the sun-shadows-scents-wind-stars-moon richly present. I’ve been feeding my soul with nature’s beauty and have noticed the few-and-far-between conversations I’m having with others are deep and wonderful. Mmmm…

I am spending time this week and next in the mindset of strategic planning. I’m initiating some changes for my business and my vision for these changes is HUGE! I’m giving this vision room to step forth and take form. …and in the midst of making room, people have stepped in to help and support me… Who knew?

I am beginning to reflect, but not dwell, on my past experiences, wins, failures (Ta Da!!), awarenesses, pains, achievements, fears, and connections. I may focus on this calendar year or I may not. Lately I’ve been noticing stuff from my early childhood and my late teenage years that deserves refection, too. I’m also reflecting on the synchronicities I’ve encountered in just the span of last week or yesterday or this morning, for that matter. It’s a practice of witnessing my past with loving curiosity and equanimity. I’m witnessing a life of adventure and discovery unfolding before my very own inward gaze. Wow!

Now, for me, since I’ve been asked, I can honestly say that I have been planning and at the same time reflecting and being very present in each moment. …and as I step back, I can see that planning is my thing in this organic sort of way. I wouldn’t say that my plans are bounded neatly within the next calendar year, however. As I take a good look, I can see that my plans range from broad to specific, simple to complex, and as near term as this afternoon, as long term as my whole foreseeable life. For me, 2012 is less an interval to plan within and more a milestone filled with milestones — to reach, to witness, to look back and reflect upon.

What about you? How are you planning for 2012? Is planning even your thing? Please share by leaving a comment.

I got all that and more! Much to my surprise, I learned that the simple act of creating (writing short fiction, in this particular case) IS what fills my well. When my creative well is full, I am contently sated and at ease, yet somehow at the same time bristling with energy. Creativity is one way for me to raise my frequency, as it were, so that I feel soul-fed and, well, happy. …but, alas, I found that it was really about the creative process becoming a regular practice. Something that I had to make room for regularly. For some, that means daily. For me, it’s more like 4-5 days per week on average. It also integrates well into my life. I found that 30 minutes was sufficient for me and that using a timer freed me from distraction. The time flew, the words came seemingly out of nowhere and before I knew it I had the makings of a surprisingly adventurous tale. Never, before then, had I suspected that I would actually be sitting down to write a short story!

More surprising than all of this was the way the rest of my life began to flow after these creative writing sprints become a devoted practice. I found that I looked forward to each next session, happily anticipating how the story might unfold. My imagination and sense of things expanded in a way that felt right deep down in my cells. Solutions to long-standing problems began to simply come to me in moments of quiet. There was a strong sense of being cared for in a way I hadn’t felt before. I was allowing myself to create, finally! It seemed awkward at first, but then it came into its natural, albeit somewhat chaotic and often fumbling, flow.

If you’re a writer or simply have a sense that creative practice is missing in your life, I highly recommend setting a creative practice in motion for yourself. I like to do all sorts of creative things in addition to my fiction writing, like cook, draw, play/work in the garden and imagine. I think I might even learn how to knit to see if that’s another outlet for me! Much of the work I do with my clients could even be categorized as creative as we explore the unknown together, discovering important guides and resources that are steadfast champions and always abundant. I want you to feel the freedom that comes from having such a practice for yourself. I wonder where you might find it?

So, next time you find yourself wishing for something, get creative! It might just be as easy as letting yourself do that artful thing you’ve not been letting yourself do!

Your creativity will thank you. Big time. I’d love to hear how it goes!

…and if writing IS your thing, my mentor, Jenna Avery, is starting her next Writer’s Circle this coming Monday, November 28th. Check it out at: Just Do The Writing (Full disclosure: this is an affiliate link and I earn commission from sales generated through this link. I highly recommend Jenna’s work with or without the commission. ;o) )

Then, this morning, in yoga, my teacher shared this passage that brought Everything into perspective. Into my cells, actually…

Here’s what she read:

“Wildness is the state of complete awareness. That’s why we need it.”

~Gary Snyder,Turtle Island

Now don’t get me wrong, the holidays are certainly not dreadful in and of themselves. It’s just that it’s so easy to become subsumed in all the hoopla out there and it may not be so easy to honor yourself and what you need and want out of the whole shebang in the process. Perhaps it isn’t easy to shift out of those icky-feeling perspectives of the holidays, yet at the same time it is possible and fairly simple to create a shift in yourself that will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself this season. It’s about getting clear on what’s important to you, making room for that important stuff to become more present and showing up to ring in the good cheer in your own, beautiful way.

Here are six questions to ask yourself that will help to evoke that shift (I’ve provided some answers of my own as examples. I’m asking myself about Thanksgiving in this case. It helps to be very specific, so try to address each holiday event separately. You can always use what you’ve learned from looking at one event to help you in the others.):

1. What do you need and not need? What you think (or know) others expect of you will creep in here — be careful to focus on your own needs when answering this question. I need: deep connection, an opportunity to share abundance, to honor the harvest, to be encouraged to express myself and to feel safe and cared for in the company that’s present. I do not need: to travel long distances, to be with people who don’t wish to engage with me, or to overindulge. *hint* look to what matters most to you (your core values) to assist you here.
2. What is your role THIS year? How do you want to take part? Notice how others’ expectations of you creep in here, too. Focus on yourself and the part you want to play. This year: I’m Sister — accepting a warm and welcoming invitation to be with my sister and her partner and the others they’ve opened their home to this day; I’m Wife and Partner — resting into the safety and strength the relationship I have with my husband provides; I’m Mom, Daughter and, again, Sister — connecting with my daughter, parents and other siblings by phone, meeting them right where they are; I’m Thankful — being aware of things that come up for me and expressing gratitude for the depth with which I feel, the insights that I gain by paying attention and the way connection is built through coming together, sharing a meal and talking about what we’re grateful for and other things that are important to us.
3. Is there an emotion or feeling that you push aside when you think about all this? Guilt and loneliness are mine. Perhaps you feel sad or misunderstood. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed. Spend some time with this feeling, really be with this feeling, and notice what comes up. Blame? Fear? Relief? Anger? Where do you feel this emotion or feeling in your body? It’s helpful to do this in conversation with a close friend, mentor or another who supports you.
4. What are you grateful for? Give voice to these things and be open to listening to the gratitude others express. I’m grateful for my loving family, my ability to listen deeply and the amazing uncertainty of each new day.
5. What traditions would you like to manifest? Take a look at the beliefs and customs you’ve experienced around celebrating your holiday in question. What do you want to carry forward? What do you want to add or change? I like to think about what causes me and my family the least amount of stress when I consider this one. I also like to focus on what I love about the holiday and leave the rest. ;o) I love the tradition of having certain items on the menu: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pie, cranberry sauce and a green vegetable are a must. My additions to this piece are that we always buy an organic, free-range, locally grown turkey, my husband prepares it on the grill, and our green veggie of choice is brussels sprouts (as opposed to the green bean casserole my mom always made). Most, if not all, of the ingredients for our meal are locally and sustainably grown. Since we’re going to my Sister’s for Thanksgiving this year, we’ll reserve a day in December to create our own feast, just the way we like it. There’s a sense of warmth, of feeling welcome, of coming home. I create a safe and comfortable environment for myself and encourage others to express their needs so that we can co-create safe and comfortable spaces for them, too. I connect with my extended family by phone and share stories with them of the celebrations in store for each of us. I engage in sharing abundance and gratitude and encourage others to do the same.
6. What about next year? To keep things as anxiety-free as possible, it’s important to be flexible and focus on what matters at the present time. Know that in future years your needs, roles and emotions may be different. You may be a guest and be uninvolved with preparing the meal (or selecting its ingredients) or hosting the festivities, you may not have someone with you that you’d like to have with you, or you may choose to forgo a particular event and focus on other traditions you’ve identified as important to you. Revisit these questions each year to be sure you’re honoring your own traditions and keep your meaning of the holidays current. Identifying what’s important to you then choosing to honor those things will give you tremendous freedom. Honor your values this holiday season. It’s a good first step in keeping the holidays meaningful!

What’s important to you? I’d love to hear what comes up as you consider these six questions. Be gentle with yourself, take your time and have fun!

As a part of my celebration of and involvement in the growing movement of Peace, I’ve been listening to calls on The Shift Network’s program, PeaceWeek 2011. I’ve been moved again and again by the possibilities and encouragement that’s been presented. I was blessed to be on calls with two of my heroes (and, dare I say, role models?), Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra. Hearing their voices again helped to clear away the static and present me, once again, with the evidence and inspiration I needed to refuel my heretic’s spirit.

My take-away, that I’d like to share with you, is that PEACE IS POSSIBLE and we each have a role to play in making this possibility increasingly the reality. Marianne Williamson spoke of Fierce Peace — actually standing at the heated centers of conflict and bringing Love in. Deepak Chopra spoke that Peace is the Way — that it’s an inside-out process, that Peace starts and is cultivated within, then flows outward. Both presented practical methods each of us can use to move our intentions of peace into appropriate actions of peace as we make our invaluable contributions to the expansion of Peace everywhere. You can access recordings to their talks (and many others) here

For me, being on this heretic’s path requires an attitude of passionate equanimity (or at least holding that as the ideal state to step forth from). …and as a sensitive idealist, that ain’t easy! In this state, I can feel others’ suffering and not turn away in fear or with feelings of helplessness to do anything. I know where my responsibility lies, and that’s as a transformative change agent.

There are three threads that I noticed in common between Marianne and Deepak’s talks that seem to speak to finding that place of passionate equanimity so we can stand fiercely in the face of [perceived] opposition and make the difference we’re meant to make.

1. We must continually address our own issues and stay in an upward trajectory of personal growth. This piece is internal, psycho-physical and includes self-care. Yes, we will backslide into old patterns, get caught up in other people’s business and be stumped at times as to where to turn or how to keep going, but we must feel into the persistence of Life within us and keep growing. The seed of our intentions lies here.
2. We must hold a spiritual connection, whether that’s through prayer, meditation, walks in the woods or following the teachings of a sage or messiah, in order to remain inspired. There’s maintenance involved here, too, which can mean cultivating creativity, taking spiritual retreats, being in community, and practicing gratitude. Our spiritual connection amplifies our intentions.
3. We must stand courageously compassionate. This is where we show up bringing with us what we want to see more of in the world, things like respect, tolerance, consideration, deep, attentive listening… Our intentions are transmitted, reflected and compounded exponentially by everything around us.

It’s an inside-out process. Peace starts within and flows outward, expanding. The intention of peace is amplified by our own personal growth, our own particular level of consciousness. Peace grows and flows like a rich, primordial stew.

So, I wonder… What’s your role in the expansion of peace? If peace isn’t your thing, then what is? What do you want to see more of in the world that you can bring with you the next place you show up? I’d love to hear from you about this — please comment below.