Many near and dear to me are getting far more painful signals that now is the time to take notice and to take good care. One friend, let’s call her Corrine, has been going along maintaining the success of her thriving fashion retail business at her typical break-neck pace. She’s all set to move to a new location, when she learns that the lessor of her potential new space has rented it to someone else. Meanwhile, she learns that her father has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She rushes home to visit then back again to find a new location, working weeks without a day off. Her car gets stolen. The new retail space she finds is temporarily unavailable. She finally takes a day for herself to go on a hike with her dog and… wouldn’t you know it, she manages to badly sprain her ankle during that outing. She’s beginning to dread the beginnings of a migraine the she senses might be looming. She’s praying that her back doesn’t go out, as it’s been known to do at times like these. She knows she needs to take time for herself and craves her yoga practice that’s fallen away in the midst of all that’s happened in the past several weeks of her life. Now that she’s injured and can’t do her favorite yoga practice, she’s lamenting its absence all that much more.

…and Corrine is not alone. Two friends have sustained significant injuries of their dominant hand. Other friends have had people near and dear to them die very recently. Another friend is reintegrating into an addiction-free life after being in rehab. These things on top of everything else they’ve got happening in their already full, responsible lives. Hoo boy… if self-care isn’t in order for these people now as they heal, grieve and recover I don’t know when it would be. …and these are only some of the people in my closest circles. I know that there are many, if not the majority of people out there who are in dire need of the self-care necessary to bring themselves toward thriving, let alone sustain a thriving level of existence.

The trouble is, we tend to sacrifice ourselves and our need to care for ourselves, allowing worry, busy-ness, other people and work (among other things) to preside over our time and energy and seem to find little left over for ourselves when all is said and done. For those of us who identify with this tendency, not only does self-care easily not take priority, it often doesn’t happen and we hurt ourselves, get sick or worse.

I wonder if we humans tend to be a bit self-care challenged. There seems to be a gi-normous bit of evidence pointing to this being true. Certainly our competitive, work-a-day, goal-oriented, go-go-go, more-more-more culture has contributed something to this reality. Being self-care challenged makes it challenging to embrace a healthy self-care regimen. I’m even going to go out on a limb here and say that I believe it’s not easy for any of us to put the care of ourselves first, all the time, every day.

This perspective is one that I’d like to take further and invite you to join me. During the month of April, I will post an inquiry, inspiration or musing each day on Pinterest. Each posting will be one that can be taken simply as a self-care action that can be done that day or another. And, if you choose to take this deeper, you can do so in a number of ways. Here are a few suggestions:

• comment about how you implemented the self-care action into your day, what came up for you, what got in your way;
• repin the self-care action on your own Pinterest page;
• notice your reactions — which self-care actions do you love, which ones can’t you stand or which feel ridiculous for some reason;
• notice which self-care actions you are already pretty good at taking for yourself — give yourself some credit!;
• become aware of your tendencies to make the action too big or too small or something else that makes it so that it’s just not right for you;
• consider how you might adjust the self-care action so that it fits you and your life perfectly.

So how ’bout it? Come on over to Pinterest and take the Self-Care Challenge! I’ll be there right along with you starting April 1st. No foolin’!

The inequity of choice is something of a continuum with complete immersion or acceptance at one end and complete avoidance at the other.

Choice, in this case, does not mean the number or quality of available options, but the act of choosing and accepting (to any degree) to adopt a particular innovation, device, or set of them. It’s a measure of one’s propensity to adopt technological innovation, if you will.

Consider that people’s choice points fill the continuum, each point representing a particular degree of choice. At the far right is total immersion and might include choice at a level of using technology itself to promote more innovation. This might be such high-level use as nanotechnological development and artificial intelligence. At the far left is avoidance (or simply no awareness) of technology. Here might rest the choice points of people who are quite primitive and unexposed to the modern world or those who shun technology for any number of reasons and choose to cloister themselves from exposure to such innovation. As you can imagine, there are very few people at either end of the continuum. Most, the vast majority of us, have their choice points somewhere in between.

Where do you think your choice point lies on this continuum?

And what about technostress? How does it relate to you at your choice point? My research (primarily drawn from the original work of Craig Brod and later works by Dr.s Michelle M. Weil and Larry D. Rosen) coupled with my own observations showed me that there are two distinct types of technostress that result from choice: one manifests in the struggle to accept computer technology and is associated with avoidance, aversion, fear (even phobia), and generally negative attitudes about technological innovation. The primary symptom at this end is anxiety. At the other end is the over-identification with technology and over-reliance on technological systems and devices. This type of acceptance resembles addiction and can create a whole host of other dis-eases that are direct outcomes of this level of choice, such as antisocial behavior and insomnia.

To cope, it’s important to know or at least have a good awareness of your tendencies toward or away from accepting technology and to do what you can to strike a balance for yourself. Chances are you will need to make regular adjustments to find that balanced place where stress and anxiety or even compulsion and addiction are alleviated.

A good place to start is to notice your tendencies right now. How do they affect how you show up as a person? Are you comfortable here or are you feeling some discomfort? Perhaps you’re noticing there’s something that needs to change. Are you getting curious about something else? Talk to others about their level of acceptance and use of technology and how they fare in the face of technostress. (One great place to talk to others is right here!) Seek out resources to learn more and to get support in the areas you need it. Your personal evolution depends on it!

You may be asking yourself, “What’s choice got to do with it, anyway?” Well, once you’re aware of your own tendencies you are in a good place to see where things are working well or out of whack. From this vantage point, you can better see your options and that you actually have a say in how you interrelate with technology. You might choose to experiment a little, slackening off in some areas and diving deeper into others. You might try out a new apparatus to add to your quiver or you might go on a technology fast, laying off certain potentially crazy-making uses of technology for a while (ever take a hiatus from facebook, email, your computer, your cell phone?). These experiments will heighten your awareness of your tendencies, not to mention the affects your tendencies (good, bad or neutral) have on other people and areas of your life. You’ll also gain a richer perspective of yourself and the choices you have at your disposal.

I’d love to hear what you learn as you experiment! Continue the conversation here by leaving a reply.

Coming Soon >>> the final installation in this series: Technostress and the Inequity Within.

Perhaps you’ve noticed some recent posts I’ve made on my facebook page. If not, go on over there and check it out for a sec. You see, during the entire month of February, I’m posing the inquiry: What do you love about yourself? I was originally inspired to do this when I came upon a friend’s post (you may not be able to access this if you’re not facebook friends with my friend, Julie Gieseke, so I’ll at least mention her name here) declaring February the month of love and a fine time to practice being the one you love the most. Now, being a big fan and proponent of self-care, this felt like a practice worth exploring, so I bit. …and not only have I been making the inquiry to my fans on my facebook page, I’ve been testing my own mettle and making self-love declarations on my personal facebook profile each day as well. Woof. For those who know me, you know this hasn’t been easy for me. I’m not one to toot my own horn much, if at all, and making glowingly loving statements about myself out loud has been, er, interesting, to say the least.

There are some particularly powerful insights that I’ve gained through this practice that I’d like to share with you here, most of them are pretty scary for me to admit.

• people like hearing me speak lovingly about myself.
• it’s encouraging for others to see me speaking lovingly about myself, yet it’s still a bit too scary for most to declare something they love about themselves on my facebook page. (I like to imagine that they’re at least thinking about what they love about themselves and maybe using that to turn around some self-deprecating thoughts before they become statements.)
• I know it’s encouraging because they’ve told me off-line.
• this has deepened the conversation and, perhaps, our relationship in that we now understand each other just a little bit better.
• I can think of TONS of things I love about my friends and loved ones and, in comparison, most days it’s painfully difficult for me to come up with just one thing that I love about myself, especially knowing that I’m about to declare it out loud!
• people love things about themselves that I love about them, too.
• people love things about themselves that I also love about myself. (I wonder if this is part of what attracts us to one another?)
• it’s hard to feel crabby for too long on those days when I wake up with a grump on after declaring what I love about myself.
• it’s also hardest to find something that I love about myself on those days when I wake up grumpy.

Okay, enough about me. What’s this bringing up in you? Have you been following along with me on facebook in this challenging practice? What insights have come up for you? Have you taken this activity out into your world and, if so, how? Or, maybe you’re just encountering this here for the first time. What does this evoke in you? I’d love to hear from you, so please leave a reply here or join in the fun over on my facebook page.

I’d like to dive into technostress, as a concept, a bit more deeply now by taking a look at the idea of interpersonal inequities and see how they can and often do lead to technostress.

Interpersonal inequities are demographic in nature, in other words and in this case, they can be categorized as human characterizations that one might use to compare oneself to others in a population. A person’s age, financial wherewithal, location, tastes and preferences, physical ability and experience are several characterizations that we can look at to get a better picture of how interpersonal inequities can cause technostress.

In an effort to create an experience for you to develop your awareness around how interpersonal inequities create or lead to technostress, less in a cognitive way and more by way of feeling into it, I’m going to humbly ask you to consider your own use of technology as it compares to mine as you read the following honest account of my own use and level of acceptance of technological innovation.

I tend to be a bit of a luddite. I value nature and direct human connection and I believe it’s important to use computer technology moderately. I meditate. I do yoga. I grow some of my own food. I limit my time on the computer and using other technological innovations, including t.v. I’m highly sensitive and know that too much input in any form is overstimulating and can overwhelm me. I don’t use a smart phone. I live in a rural location where cell signal is poor and I work from home. In fact, I keep my cell phone in my car and typically only use it to keep in touch when I’m on the road or traveling. I don’t text, generally–it’s difficult for me to read the screen. I do enjoy on-line learning and on-line communities such as social media and discussion forums. I LOVE to google. I blog. I designed and maintain my own website. I’ve been using computers since the early 80′s and have kept up pretty well as a user. I even have a background in high-tech and have a pretty good idea what makes these things (technological innovations) tick. I can type pretty quickly and prefer to work in uninterrupted periods of quiet. No music while I’m working, thanks. Oh, and I can’t seem to tolerate headphones (there’s that high sensitivity again!), so need privacy and quiet to attend teleclasses or to sit in on a conference call, and to do most of my work, in fact. I don’t have a large operating budget and my idealism dictates a strong preference for making economically and environmentally sustainable choices, so I choose to own only a few tech devices and I don’t replace or get additional items often. I’m definitely not one who runs out and gets the latest gadgets. As far as my current inventory of tech devices is concerned, I have a desktop computer and a laptop (both Macs), a printer, a modem, and a wi-fi router. Oh, and the aforementioned cell phone that’s out in my car.

That, in a nutshell, is me. Now, be honest. Were there times as you read along that you noticed a contrast (or even a similarity) between my use and level of acceptance of technology and yours? I hope so, we’re all quite different even when we have much in common.

The point here is to increase your awareness of how you perceive yourself and others in relation to one another with respect to use of technology. If you notice that you’re prone to get angry or stressed about how you use technology comparatively with others (or how others use it compared to you), technostress is at play.

The first step to relieving technostress is building awareness. And if you’ve played along in this game of comparisons, you’re already on your way to finding some relief.

So I ask you: What’s all this bringing up for you? Please share by leaving a comment.

Next up: Technostress and the Inequity of Choice.

Dictionary.com defines technostress as “a feeling of anxiety or mental pressure from overexposure or involvement with (computer) technology.” It’s a term that came into use during the 80′s when computer technology was developing at a tremendous rate. In fact, it was recognized that this rate would continue to increase for quite some time (see Moore’s Law). Today, thought leader Ray Kurzweil suggests that “the rate of innovation of computer technology is increasing not linearly [as was originally theorized in Moore's Law] but rather exponentially.” According to Kurzweil’s argument, “since growth in so many fields of science and technology depends upon computing power, these improvements translate into exponentially more frequent advances in non-computer sciences like nanotechnology, biotechnology, and materials science.” (learn more here). In simple terms, we are each encountering more new technology (whether we embrace it or not) now more than ever before in our lives. It seems no wonder that any of us might be prone to suffer from technostress.

From my perspective, I can see that people (myself included) tend to be pretty hard on themselves when it comes to how they interrelate with technology. I’m observing that the technostress stems from a focus on the inequity at hand. There are probably many inequities at work here. I’ll put these inequities into three categories to help us to look at them more closely.

One type of inequity is interpersonal. It’s the way we compare and contrast our own preferred use of technology with that of others.

Another manifests itself in the technology we choose (or choose not) to use. Let’s call this the inequity of choice.

Finally, there is an inequity within oneself, or internal inequity. This one runs the gamut of personal awareness touch-points from what we expect of ourselves and hold ourselves accountable to (our ideals) and what we’re actually capable of at any given moment in time with the resources we have at our disposal, to the way we see and perceive ourselves in the world and the way we learn and take in information.

Personally, I can already see that these three types of inequity that lead to technostress are not inextricable. Yet, taken together, as it naturally happens, these inequities add up to a powerful stress-inducing outcome.

It seems clear that technostress is pretty much unavoidable. But maybe, just maybe, we can learn to adapt to the growing rate of technology in such a way that we can thrive in its presence. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I’d love to hear from you on this topic. Are you suffering from technostress? How has it shown up in your life recently?

Stay tuned for more. I’ll be addressing each of the inequities I’ve mentioned and will be offering up some strategies for transcending the difficulties that technostress presents.

Now, I don’t know about you, but for me big questions like this can shut me down rather than inspire me. …and just as I was noticing that I was starting to shut down in the face of these questions, I saw my rebellious self step in. “Wait! Why do I have to do things the way EVERYBODY else is doing them? Why do I have to answer these questions? It’s no wonder I’m getting shut down. I don’t really think in terms of ‘the year in review!’” Then my curious self responded, “Oh, but I so want to play this game of reflection. Not so much because EVERYBODY’s doing it, but because I want to see for myself what the fuss is all about!”

…and then I noticed my rebellious self start to get a bit judgmental, her fists on her hips. My curious self shared more. “Look at the different ways people are posing this concept,” she pointed out. “Some are posing big questions, as you’ve mentioned, yet others are sharing their own “year in review” process. They’re finding their own way of playing along with this game! Some don’t even speak in terms of “best of” or “biggest,” but have many and varied experiences that they’re recalling. Some of those experiences were difficult, even. It seems that for some people, the small or brief or vague were quite notable, too. My self-caring self, stepped in to join Curiosity. “Oh, how lovely! They’re acknowledging themselves for not just what they’ve done or accomplished, but for how they’ve shown up!”

Curiosity said, “I wonder what we might come up with if we reflect for a while on the past year?” The Rebel cautioned: “Won’t you just be succumbing to the masses? I think it’s important that we look at how we show up more often than once a year at this time!” …and Self-Care said, “I know! Let’s look in the places we already keep records of what we’ve done, experiences we’ve had, people we’ve encountered, things we’ve set out to do, intentions we’ve set for being.” Curiosity and The Rebel each took on the sheen of Self-Care as they considered that this might just work. All three sat down together at the desk and began to explore.

What comes up for you when you hear all the hype of “the year in review”? Does it encourage you, shut you down or something altogether different? If you’ve felt somehow on the outside or that year-end sort of review just doesn’t fit you, what other perspectives might you try on? I’d love to hear from you! Your comments and questions are most welcome.

This got me thinking, “Am I planning for 2012? Is planning even my thing?”

…and so, I’ve been sitting with these questions and here is what came to me…

I am enjoying the winding down of the season, the shortening of the days, and the lengthening of the nights. I have been turning inward, sleeping more, reading more, spending more time alone (is that even possible??) and feeding my body what it craves. Interestingly, the days and nights have been gorgeously clear and crisp, the sun-shadows-scents-wind-stars-moon richly present. I’ve been feeding my soul with nature’s beauty and have noticed the few-and-far-between conversations I’m having with others are deep and wonderful. Mmmm…

I am spending time this week and next in the mindset of strategic planning. I’m initiating some changes for my business and my vision for these changes is HUGE! I’m giving this vision room to step forth and take form. …and in the midst of making room, people have stepped in to help and support me… Who knew?

I am beginning to reflect, but not dwell, on my past experiences, wins, failures (Ta Da!!), awarenesses, pains, achievements, fears, and connections. I may focus on this calendar year or I may not. Lately I’ve been noticing stuff from my early childhood and my late teenage years that deserves refection, too. I’m also reflecting on the synchronicities I’ve encountered in just the span of last week or yesterday or this morning, for that matter. It’s a practice of witnessing my past with loving curiosity and equanimity. I’m witnessing a life of adventure and discovery unfolding before my very own inward gaze. Wow!

Now, for me, since I’ve been asked, I can honestly say that I have been planning and at the same time reflecting and being very present in each moment. …and as I step back, I can see that planning is my thing in this organic sort of way. I wouldn’t say that my plans are bounded neatly within the next calendar year, however. As I take a good look, I can see that my plans range from broad to specific, simple to complex, and as near term as this afternoon, as long term as my whole foreseeable life. For me, 2012 is less an interval to plan within and more a milestone filled with milestones — to reach, to witness, to look back and reflect upon.

What about you? How are you planning for 2012? Is planning even your thing? Please share by leaving a comment.

I got all that and more! Much to my surprise, I learned that the simple act of creating (writing short fiction, in this particular case) IS what fills my well. When my creative well is full, I am contently sated and at ease, yet somehow at the same time bristling with energy. Creativity is one way for me to raise my frequency, as it were, so that I feel soul-fed and, well, happy. …but, alas, I found that it was really about the creative process becoming a regular practice. Something that I had to make room for regularly. For some, that means daily. For me, it’s more like 4-5 days per week on average. It also integrates well into my life. I found that 30 minutes was sufficient for me and that using a timer freed me from distraction. The time flew, the words came seemingly out of nowhere and before I knew it I had the makings of a surprisingly adventurous tale. Never, before then, had I suspected that I would actually be sitting down to write a short story!

More surprising than all of this was the way the rest of my life began to flow after these creative writing sprints become a devoted practice. I found that I looked forward to each next session, happily anticipating how the story might unfold. My imagination and sense of things expanded in a way that felt right deep down in my cells. Solutions to long-standing problems began to simply come to me in moments of quiet. There was a strong sense of being cared for in a way I hadn’t felt before. I was allowing myself to create, finally! It seemed awkward at first, but then it came into its natural, albeit somewhat chaotic and often fumbling, flow.

If you’re a writer or simply have a sense that creative practice is missing in your life, I highly recommend setting a creative practice in motion for yourself. I like to do all sorts of creative things in addition to my fiction writing, like cook, draw, play/work in the garden and imagine. I think I might even learn how to knit to see if that’s another outlet for me! Much of the work I do with my clients could even be categorized as creative as we explore the unknown together, discovering important guides and resources that are steadfast champions and always abundant. I want you to feel the freedom that comes from having such a practice for yourself. I wonder where you might find it?

So, next time you find yourself wishing for something, get creative! It might just be as easy as letting yourself do that artful thing you’ve not been letting yourself do!

Your creativity will thank you. Big time. I’d love to hear how it goes!

…and if writing IS your thing, my mentor, Jenna Avery, is starting her next Writer’s Circle this coming Monday, November 28th. Check it out at: Just Do The Writing (Full disclosure: this is an affiliate link and I earn commission from sales generated through this link. I highly recommend Jenna’s work with or without the commission. ;o) )

Then, this morning, in yoga, my teacher shared this passage that brought Everything into perspective. Into my cells, actually…

Here’s what she read:

“Wildness is the state of complete awareness. That’s why we need it.”

~Gary Snyder,Turtle Island